Archive for the ‘Homemakers’ Category

Grass is green on the other side!

June 4, 2010

I overheard a phone conversation at an airport where a lady dressed in a business suit was casually joking with her friend on the phone.  It was past noon and I heard her ask if her friend was taking a nap. She called her friend as a “woman of leisure” and kept pulling her leg about it 2-3 times in a 10-minute conversation. So, apparently this friend was not working from what I could gather and could have been a homemaker. Let’s hypothesize for a minute and wonder if this was just a casual fun remark or was it something that this lady in the business suit craved deep inside to be that “woman of leisure”.

Grass is always green on the other side, so we have heard and I bet you, we have experienced it at some point in our lives. Literally, my neighbors’ grass is really lush and greener than mine. 🙂

People react to this feeling or as I would like to call this “syndrome” in many different ways. Some of us face up to it and openly envy others. How many times we have heard people say, “Wow, I envy you”. But sometimes this envy stays deep inside and festers. We may not even realize it and inadvertently we become angry and resentful of others who are not like us. Or, the best approach adopted by a daring few, take a giant leap over to the other side and experience the lush green grass.

I was actually stung by this syndrome sometime ago. Yes, my confession moment: I started working right after graduating with Master’s degree and the entire time I was envious of all the women who married and chose to become a homemakers. Although a few of them said that there was nothing to be envious about and that they missed going to work. But hey, I was blind and deaf because of this syndrome. I could not comprehend then that there was a reverse reaction of them finding my grass as green.

Fast forward to ten years! I had to take a break from work due to frequent moves we did and my back pain. I should have been very happy, right? Well, I was happy to begin with being in my green pastures of newfound luxury of time. I browsed, read, caught up on movies and even had the patience to watch Indian Idol on You Tube.

Anyway, I just spiraled down into an abyss with no purpose in life. But it was a lesson learnt and I realized what I truly liked in life. The lesson here is grass is not always green on the other side. We have to know what we want and it may not be what others have. But unfortunately a lot of these decisions are not quite that simple. Reminding ourselves of this can make us feel a lot less resentful or just feel the pang and move on with life.

But one thing that strikes me odd is that why is it that sometimes we crave what others have. This happens to babies as well. I am not kidding, a child bawling because she wants the green lollipop that the other kid has even though she is holding a pink one. Girl, you have the pink, stop crying! Oh no! See what I am saying? So it almost makes me wonder if we are wired to crave for what we don’t have.

From all these examples, I can only say that we have to be comfortable in what we do no matter how green the grass is on the other side. I choose to dare if it really bothers me. Yes, I chopped my hair and sported a short style for years. And, all my eyes could see were women with long hair looking beautiful. My hair has grown back and I love it but I can’t help feel a pang when I see Katie Holmes beautiful bob! Go figure!

Katie Holmes

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